When Men Drive...

If you spend a lot of bums on the driver's seat, I am certain you would relate. Well I don’t drive, but I spend a lot of bums watching people do that. 

Unless it’s your profession, I guess we all love to drive. Now, how you drive a vehicle can tell a lot about the kind of person you are. 

 

I know critical heads, It is a weird way of typecasting personalities and it might seem unrealistic or even wtf. But just like the, my bat-my batting rule, this is my blog, my expression.

Parking

While men love to drive, the finer shades of patience can be tested when they need a parking space for their cars at public places. Be it a Mall parking, or a road side (Park at owner’s risk) it is fascinating to watch how they exhibit the adrenaline after a smooth drive and the noteworthy gear shifts in the facial expressions when they need just the “perfect parking spot”.

Instances -

1.       In Malls/offices/commercial buildings- How your conversation turns to a fading blabber the moment they enter that dark parking zone, devouring for a spot which is just near the lift-lobby. The guard will whistle them about a place but.... nah, not satisfactory.

2.       Open spaces – In the day time, you HAVE to find some cover or you’d turn into a dry toast due to global warming after return. A shadow cast by some tall building or a thick tree are the sweetest things you can find to park under the blazing sun. You are lucky if you find one. But when you don’t, the blood boils. There will be arguments about how road is filled with insane people who don’t utilise the parking spots judiciously or basically park like a buffalo.

3.       Swag moments – When you are stuck amidst vehicles hunting for a spot, just when a car starts to leave a beautiful, spacious, safe parking space and you were right there to claim it.

When, a contest breaks in after having spotted a space by two people simultaneously and you very swiftly reach out and win the competition... oh yeah bitch...

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Driving-

1.       F_*k!@#$%^&*())ma*&^%$#g@!@#$%^&* d ... Bh*^&%%#ch***    - a common tongue spoken by Men when they are driving. Blame the Driving conditions or the fellow traffic bros and hoes.

2.       My personal favourite is – the hatred for High beam. They go eccentric. (Inn logon ko akkal nai hai.. high beam pe chalaate hain). Yeah, you know the entire motor vehicle act.

3.       Stuck in Jam – The impatient ones shall ruthlessly change Lanes, cursing the stupid car wala ahead of you, who is not quick enough to pace up with the crawling traffic. (even worse, Gaadi laga di saale ne)

4.       Sad moment – When you were cruising down the lane and some invisible ugly little speed breaker came all out of nowhere. The damage it did to your baby. While the machine had cramps, you could feel its pain and whispered a heartfelt sorry...

5.       Lady driver – It is a universally accepted truth that, Women don’t know how to drive. So you must drive at least 20 meters away from them. Only they have the liberty to take any vague left or right, without indicators, and they can also change their mind last moment. So, dude if you want to be alive, make space for woman drivers and keep them off your radar.  Thank you.

Men are simply entertaining. Although I agree, when my hands would be on the steering wheel, I’ll exhibit the same behavior, may be even crankier...

Driving does that to men and shall continue to do so. 

This was a little of what I have observed and would really love to include more experiences.

Feel free to mention if you have any in the comment box. 

Till then drive safe. Wroom wroom.............. Breaks.